Thought this was funny

Headlines from the year 2029

• Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, Mexifornia, formerly known as California . White minorities still trying to have English recognized as Mexifornia's third language.

• Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops and livestock.

• Baby conceived naturally. Scientists stumped.

• Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage.

• Last remaining Fundamentalist Muslim dies in the American Territory Middle East, formerly known as Iraq, Afghanistan, Syria and Lebanon.

• Iran still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least 10 more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.

• France pleads for global help after being taken over by Jamaica.

• Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.

• George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036.

• Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only.

• 85-year $75.8 billion study: Diet and Exercise are the keys to weight loss.

• Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs.

• Japanese scientists have created a camera with such a fast shutter speed, they now can photograph a woman with her mouth shut. not funny
  

• Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative.